Ohio resident David Ryland made headlines when he participated in the Akron Marathon hours before his wedding.
One reason he achieved his goal—and made it to the altar on time—was the fact he had the support of his groomsmen. Since they were runners, too, they completed the marathon with Ryland as a marathon team: “Cold Feet.”
When Runner’s World interviewed Ryland about the experience, he said he was moved by his friends’ above and beyond show of support. “The fact that they all made the time to fly to Ohio for a weekend to run and then be with me on my wedding day is something you cannot ask more for in friends and family,” he said.
If you’ve been asked to be a groomsman, it’s unlikely that you will have to go to such extreme measures to support the groom. That said, the role does come with some built-in responsibilities. And, if you’d like to be the kind of groomsman who’s remembered for their unwavering support (without lacing up your running shoes), there are any number of things you can do.
Here’s a closer look at what being a groomsman involves and some things to keep in mind to make a real difference while you’re at it.
What Exactly Do Groomsmen Do?
For most people, the word “groomsman” (or possibly, “groomsperson” or “groomswoman”) evokes a pretty specific image. These are the people who stand beside the groom during the wedding ceremony. But standing by the groom isn’t limited to your physical presence: Your job is to “be there,” to be a source of help and support before and during the wedding.
Here’s a closer look at what that looks like.
Your most well-known pre-wedding duty will be helping the best man plan and execute the bachelor party. Your involvement will depend on the best man, but you might be helping by contributing (and providing feedback on) ideas, helping with arrangements, sharing costs, and being there to add to the fun.
But you’ll also need to attend the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner—and maybe even to make a toast there.
You’ll be responsible for getting your outfit for the wedding, too.
During the wedding, in addition to participating in the ceremony, you can expect to pose for wedding pictures and, during the reception, lead people onto the dance floor.
Above all, though, you’re one of the people the groom knows they can count on: someone to listen, to encourage, and to lend an extra hand when necessary.
Making a Real Difference:
So, how can you move beyond doing the basics? Here are some strategies for being an invaluable source of support and assistance as a groomsman.
Wearing It Well: Depending on the groom, you may be provided with details on what the groomsmen should be wearing, or you may be asked to share suggestions on clothing decisions.
“If the groom asks for options on what they or the rest of their party should wear, weigh in thoughtfully, respectfully, and with their interests in mind,” Sarah Zlotnick wrote in an article for Brides magazine. “And if they ask you to help shop for a look, do so.”
Beyond that, simply picking up your outfit on time, without being nudged, is a surprisingly easy way to ease the bride and groom’s stress.
Embracing behind-the-scenes tasks: You can be a huge help, and stress-reliever, by lending a helping hand. This could involve giving relatives rides from the airport to their hotels, picking up supplies, running errands for the bride and groom, and carrying in/packing up supplies on the wedding day.
Empathy for Groom Stress: Some grooms find it a little tough to focus on their wedding day. Groomsmen can help by keeping them on schedule, making sure they eat and stay hydrated, and again, being a friend they can talk with.
Being a Friendly Face: As a member of the wedding party, you’re sharing hosting duties in a way. So greet guests and be available to answer questions. Pro tip: Your most common inquiries will be when’s (“What time will dinner start?”) and where’s (“Can you point me toward the restrooms?”) You can help yourself ask the bride and groom (or their wedding planner) for the day’s itinerary and seating plan and by getting a feel for your venue’s layout.
Coaxing people onto the dance floor: A wedding is, after all, a celebration. As a groomsman, you’ll help set the tone by getting people on the dance floor and encouraging them to have fun.
In the end, if you think of yourself as a source of help, friendship, and support, you’ll recognize opportunities to be there for the groom. Act on them, and you’ll be a highly successful groomsman.